I have a job… and a million and one different emotions to go with it.
I’m after getting a job in Insurance. I know. Me? Insurance? It’s very official and career-y and I’m a bit worried. I can’t see myself actually working in the sector for longer than it takes me to find a more suitable job but I can’t silence the part of my brain shouting “GET OUT!”. I’m afraid of getting stuck in a job completely different to where I want to be in life.
Before I got the job offer, even before the interview, I’d been toying with pursuing a qualification and/or career in Make-Up for a while. I love doing my own, I’ve done other peoples and it dawned on me that maybe this is how I’ll utilise my Film degree, eventually that is. And now, now I have mixed emotions. I was just about to apply for a bursary to complete a course when I got the job. I asked a lot of my friends and family for advice, the majority answered with “take the job”, can’t blame them, I’ve been all talk about getting a job with ages. Another pal, Leanne (hup!) suggested I did a pro/con list to sort my shit out and the most basic one was;
- An income over €62 a week
- Signing off the live register
- An opportunity to move back to Galway
- Having to secure accommodation from now until Sunday the 12th (That’s four days)
- Putting off the make-up route completely for the foreseeable future
- Delaying my ideal career path
I couldn’t turn the job down though, realistically. It would be ungrateful, no? I’ve been scouring job sites for months and €62 just doesn’t stretch far enough to live a life unfortunately. Now I feel like I’m after taking a massive step in what, definitely, is the wrong direction. Then again, I said I wanted to be a writer, maybe underwriting was destined?
Could this blog be my last ditch attempt to escape an office life? I’m too artsy for a 9-5. Save me influencers! Make me one of you! I could do with whitening my teeth. I’ll put up with the laxative tea, I’m already lactose intolerant I can handle it! (soz). Maybe it’s time to start taking blogging more seriously. How does one do that btw? Should I start reviewing things? Do you want my opinion on stuff? I’m very passionate about the Eurovision, does that draw in readers?
Basically, I don’t know what I’m doing, which is the underlying theme of my blog and I suppose I’m not dead yet so I can handle a few months of pretending I’ve the personality for insurance. In the meantime, if you wanna stick around, you can. I’ll try to be more ‘current’ and we can see if I can salvage my life from the wreck that is my self-destructive mind.